#266 Home Stretch

This is post number 266. Only 100 more posts to go. In the abstract, 100 of anything seems like a lot, but really I’m in the home stretch. I’m not sure how I feel about that.




I’m amazed at the fact that I have written 265 posts that, at least tangentially, have something to do with Eric. I’m anxious that I won’t have enough material to complete 100 more. I’m terrified that the specified time of the blog will end and I’ll fall apart without an Eric task to complete daily.



Once again I face the relentless march of time. Over a year has passed since all of our lives were changed by his loss and now my self imposed mourning project is also coming to an end. I know there are still 100 days, but today feels like a milestone.



Before those 100 days are over I will have another child (am anticipating missing some days there so it probably will stretch a little longer than 100 days). We will all be a year older and hopefully wiser. We will all still be missing Eric, although maybe not with the single minded fury we were a year ago.



I think it is that, more than anything else, that gets to me. That the grief and rage and pain can subside. That life goes on. That I’m expected, even demanded to go on. And that I can, and will.



I’ll still be here for the next 100 days, and after that, we’ll see. I’ll still be blogging, that much I’m sure of, but probably in a slightly different format. Definitely in one that doesn’t require a daily post. Hopefully you’ll transition with me. I’m sure Eric will be a part of that blog too, but again, probably not the main focus. That makes me sad and relieved and hopeful all at the same time.