When Eric was in law school he drove a bright yellow Nissan X-Terra. Drove might be an understatement, at times he lived in it. Eric loved to road trip and the little SUV was tricked out with coolers and its very own mini-refrigerator. You don’t see that many yellow cars out there, and every time I see a yellow X-Terra I think of Eric. I have done this ever since he got the car, so it’s really nothing new, only now there’s a pang of loss along with my association.
I don’t think I see Eric on every street corner. I don’t think I hear his voice in a crowded restaurant. I don’t pick up the phone to call him only to remember I can’t. These are all things that you read about as typical grief reactions. Well, I guess I’m just not typical. I do still think about him every time I see a yellow X-Terra though, like I did last night on my way home from work.
I remember how much I made fun of him for driving a bright yellow car. I remember him taking me to run errands in it in Philadelphia and almost making me puke with his stop and go driving. I remember being amazed as he pulled out a cold drink from his backseat refrigerator. I remember his mix of sadness and excitement when he had to sell it to move overseas.
When he came back from New Zealand, he purchased a much tamer car. My well loved and used 11 year old Toyota Corolla. It served the purpose but wasn’t nearly as distinctive. I’ll always think of him when I see yellow Nissan X-Terras, that car really fit his personality.
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