My book club discussed “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin last night. I am not really into self-help books, so I wasn’t really looking forward to reading this one, but that’s one of the reasons I joined a book club. It’s a way to stretch my horizons and read things I wouldn’t normally read.
I started the book determined just to suffer through it so I could participate in the discussion. Somewhere along the way I found myself nodding my head and agreeing with a lot of things. I found I identified with the author, a lawyer turned writer, mother of two and therefore identified with some of the obstacles to happiness she found in her life. In general she has a pretty good life, and so do I, but this book is about enjoying the moment and wringing all the happiness you can out of the things you have to do anyway as well as the things you really want to do.
What the central message of this book boiled down to for me was “change your attitude”. It’s the one thing you always can change (although it may not seem like it sometimes). If you decide to be happier and act in accordance then you will feel happier and so will everyone around you. I really try to put this into practice with my kids. After a long day of work for me and school for them we all come home tired and cranky. Instead of snapping I try to remember to smile and laugh with them and make dinner and everyday chores a little more fun. I don’t always succeed, but at least I’m trying.
I was wondering this morning how this would apply to dealing with Eric’s absence. I can’t be happy about it and I can’t pretend to be happy about it. I can be happy for the times we had though. I can be happy that I found a creative outlet in this blog. I can be happy that I found this huge support group in my friends, family and readers.
Ms. Rubin states in her book that being happier in everyday life strengthens relationships and helps you to cope better in emergency situations. I don’t know if this is true, but I think in general being happy is a good goal so I’m going to keep trying to change my attitude and find the things that make me happy.
So interesting, I am doing something on "happiness" for next week-inspired by nothing as laudable as a book club, though.
ReplyDeleteI know the book you mentioned is more about one woman's search, but out of curiosity, did she mention the Day Reconstruction Method that a professor in Princeton did six years ago?
Evidently "sleeping poorly" can make you less able to be happy, which I agree with and yet, have no control over because the source of my bad sleep is a child, who also brings happiness.
From what you write, Eric had a good attitude and found happiness, or the humor in things. Is that true? What would his Happiness Project suggest?
Thanks for the comment Sarah. I don't remember her mentioning the Day Reconstruction Method, but she definitely talks about sleep. In fact, one of her main resolutions is to get more and she found it really helped.
ReplyDeleteEric was almost always able to find the humor in situations, and was overall a pretty happy person. I believe his happiness project would have included physical fitness, a spiritual journey and the beginnings of starting a family with Katie.
You may want to check out Gretchen Rubin's blog for you research, its http://www.happiness-project.com/
Good luck and I can't wait to read the blog!