So I thought getting pregnant and bringing a new life into this world was the biggest step I’d taken in moving forward without Eric. Then my sons and I talked about Rosh Hashanah.
For those of you who don’t know, Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year and it’s today. Every year we eat foods that symbolize our wishes for the year ahead. We eat apples dipped in honey in hopes of a sweet new year. The challah (bread) we eat is baked in a round form, instead of a long braided form like the rest of the year, to symbolize the unbroken circle of the year for which we hope. It is a time to make peace with mistakes from the previous year, atone for sins and hope your name is written in the book of life for the coming year.
Last night we had a wonderful celebration with friends. It was the first traditional Rosh Hashanah dinner I’ve been to in many years and it brought back many memories and created new ones. I’m grateful to my hosts for including my family and helping my kids see what all the fuss is about.
This morning I gave the boys a special breakfast. I had gotten a round challah (with raisins, again to symbolize a sweet new year) and we toasted it for breakfast. My 6 year old was trying to guess why we eat a round challah on Rosh Hashanah and thought it was the 24 hour circle of the holiday. I explained about the circle of the year, but he didn’t really get it. It wasn’t until we talked about how Uncle Eric’s circle had broken that he understood. We didn’t cry, we didn’t linger on the subject, but still it hurt. Eric was too young and too good to have his circle break.
So here we are starting a whole new year without him. We’ll do it again on his birthday when most of the rest of the world celebrates New Year’s Day. And I’m still not ready to move on.
Happy New Year, as bittersweet as it may be. As for explaining to your boys, I'm always amazed at what resonates with little kids.
ReplyDeleteKrista