My 7 year old is trying to protect me and it’s breaking my heart.
Last night at dinner he mentioned that he had gotten upset about Uncle Eric at school. He prefaced the whole conversation by asking me if I remembered Uncle Eric and that just tore me up inside. I’m pretty sure I didn’t show it on my face though.
A friend of his had just lost a grandparent and was talking about it and that reminded him of Eric. He told me that initially he got sad, but then he remembered playing with Eric and sticking his feet in Eric’s face and that made him laugh. He told me he started writing a story about playing with Eric and he was already on the third page and had so much more to write about. I told him I was glad that he was remembering Eric and that although it is ok to be sad, and we are always going to be sad, I was really happy that he could remember the good times he had with Eric. I told him I can’t wait to read his story, and I can’t.
Later that night I was telling all of this to my husband and it turns out there is more to the story. It turns out my son was REALLY upset at school. So much so that it warranted a call home. Only my son told his teacher not to call me because he didn’t want to upset me. So they called my husband. My husband talked him through it and helped him get to a place where he found his happy memories. Then he wasn’t sure if he should tell me or not so he didn’t.
I love that my 7 year old son is so sweet and sensitive and didn’t want to upset me. I hate that he felt he couldn’t come to me with his pain. I hate that there is something in this world from which he thinks he needs to protect me. He is too young for that.
I haven’t had a chance to talk to him about it yet, but I will. I want him to know that he can talk to me about anything at anytime and he doesn’t have to worry about how it will make me feel. It’s ok to be sad; it’s unavoidable. But it is so good to remember, and it makes me feel good that he remembers.
My little boy is growing up and it’s breaking my heart.
My granddaughter knows how sad I was when Grandma Waller passed. We were so close, it has taken a while for me to come to a place where I don't cry when I talk about her. Last year I was out in the garden, tending to the WEEDS so I could tell I actually had flowers in there. I ALWATS think of grama when I am in my garden because she loved her flowers and yard so much. I have that happy memory form my childhood. All of a sudden a beautiful butterfly appeared. This in itself is not so strange, but that butterfly followed me as I worked in that garden. I finally looked at that butterfly and said,"Well hello grama. I know it's you. Thanks for sharing this day with me." I told that story to Riese and when she was with me some time later, she saw a buterfly and said,"Look grama, it's gramam Waller." I think it made her happy too. We have to continually not only remember the great memories but talk about them always. Love you
ReplyDeleteWhat a story. From my perspective, I see only the amazing maturity of your seven year old, and strength he had to express his feelings and seek help from his teacher and then his father. I understand why you would want him to not protect you and feel he can come to you without upsetting you--but he did something many adults don't have the maturity and selflessness to do---he looked both at his own feelings and someone else's (yours) at the same time. You have raised an amazing little man.
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