I overheard an interesting conversation in the nail salon yesterday. Two women were talking about the death of one of their fathers. The woman whose father had died looked about my age, maybe a little older. From their conversation it was apparent that her father had been very ill before he died.
The week before he died was his 50th wedding anniversary. Another of his children is a minister and they arranged for a bedside ceremony rededicating their wedding vows. There was apparently a lot of family and friends in attendance and it sounded wonderful. The father had arranged for a jeweler to come to the house so he could pick out a gift for his wife. He really liked 2 necklaces and couldn’t decide which one to get. He ended up getting both, but only giving one to his wife for the anniversary. The other one he gave to his children to save as one final Christmas present for his wife. It has a heart on it.
This year the children have decided to take their mother to Hawaii for Christmas to try and avoid painful memories, and they are trying to decide when to give her the necklace. I guess dad was a notorious late Christmas shopper and he wrote her a note to go with the gift that he finally did his shopping early.
This is a heart-breakingly sweet story. He clearly had so much love for his wife and family, and they for him.
I don’t know how I would feel if I were the recipient of that one last gift though. On the one hand it would be incredible. On the other hand it’s a reminder of pain and loss and something that will bring it all forward again.
I tried to imagine how I would feel if I suddenly got a letter or a gift from Eric, but I can’t. And of course the circumstances are completely different.
I hope her family finds a way to give this to her with love and support and I hope it is a wonderful reminder of her love, not a re-opening of a wound that is just starting to heal.
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