366 divided by 2 is 183. That means I’m halfway done with this blog. I’m not even close to halfway done with mourning or remembering Eric; but I never expected to be there at this point. I may never be there. Someone pointed out to me the other day that based on reading the blog it seems I am done with the grief and more into the memories. I’m not sure that’s wholly true, I know I don’t want it to be true, but there probably is some truth in there. That’s what time does. It dulls the rawness whether you want it to or not. But it can never take away the loss.
This blog has been more rewarding than I ever thought possible. I’ve made new connections and renewed old ones through it. I’ve gotten to share Eric in so many ways with so many people. I’ve been able to rant and rave and think and process and just get my thoughts out there.
It’s also been harder than I thought it would be. Everyone warned me that trying to write something everyday was a huge challenge. Well, they were right. I now understand why most bloggers don’t post everyday. I’m still hanging in there, still haven’t missed a day, but my next blog (and I’m sure there will be another one when this one is “over”) will not contain such a commitment.
Not only is it hard to write everyday and come up with something (hopefully) interesting and entertaining and relating to Eric, it’s hard emotionally when I struggle for a topic. How could it be hard to think of something to say about Eric? But sometimes it is.
Thanks for reading and sharing and helping me. I hope you keep reading for the next 183 posts and help to keep Eric’s memory vibrant.
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