My parents were here this weekend to help us celebrate my son’s birthday. Last night over cocktails my dad told us about a dream he had where Eric called him on the phone. My mom then told us about a dream she had where Eric said he would come back if he could.
I’m still not dreaming about him.
My mom says that’s a good thing, that her dreams are very upsetting. I’m not sure. What does it mean that I’m not dreaming about him? Does it mean anything? It bothers me, that’s for sure.
I’m not really sure why it bothers me though. Maybe I feel a little guilty that my subconscious isn’t preoccupied enough with him to put him in my dreams? Maybe I feel a little bit guilty that my life is so full it can find other things to dream about? Maybe I wonder that I don’t miss him enough? No, that last one can’t be it.
It’s a silly thing to wonder and worry about, but that doesn’t stop me. I’m not asking to be upset, or to wallow in my sadness, but I would like to see him again, to hear his voice again. And the only way that is going to happen is in a dream.
Liz- Do you think it is because so many of your feelings are expressed in this blog? Dreams are sometime like steam out of a teakettle - feelings/preoccupations/thoughts under pressure. Gotta come out somewhere. Jess Cosentino Franklin
ReplyDeletei was going to say the same thing--i think you are getting your thoughts about eric out in a pretty healthy way here. your subconscious doesn't NEED to be preoccupied with him as a result.
ReplyDelete