I have written repeatedly about my fear of running because of what happened to Eric. I know it’s not entirely rational, but it’s there nonetheless. I cringe when I see ads for local races or when I hear about friends running in them. A friend of mine recently took up running and just successfully completed her first 10K and I’m happy for her, but then again I’m not. I’m scared.
My husband wants to start running again. He has run on and off ever since I have known him. He wanted to start running last spring and I freaked out on him and he didn’t do it. I made him promise that he would see a doctor before starting a running program and he agreed. I figured this was safe, he was never going to go to the doctor, after all, he’s a man.
Instead of running, my husband started P90X, an exercise program he can do at home. He’s had great results with it, but now he wants to mix it up a little and add in some running. And he has a doctor’s appointment scheduled.
He asked me the other night if I’m going to be ok with him running if he gets permission from the doctor. I don’t know what to say because I don’t know the answer. I want him to get in shape and exercise and do it in the way he wants to, but I can’t lose him. All of a sudden running seems like riding a motorcycle without a helmet. Or train dodging.
I think I’m going to have to let him run, but I don’t think I am ever going to be completely ok with it. You can’t let fear run your life, right?
My daughter just ran her 1st 5K race. She was so ecxited and such a feeling of euphoria and accomplishment. How can you take that away. Liz I know it is scary but you just have to let go. You must try and put your fears into God's hands. We all have to die. We live to die. We don't know when or how, we're not suppose to know. I do know that excersizing is way better for your health than doing nothing. Be encouraging of Mike. He wants to run. He'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteYou know what's funny, Liz? When I decided I wanted to start training to run races, all I could think about was Eric. Instead of being fearful, though, I wanted running to be my way of honoring Eric's memory. He LOVED running...and I know he would have wanted his friends and family to love it, too.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine how scary it must be for you to think about what COULD happen...but I hope that one day Mike's running (or maybe even the boys' running!) will remind you of how much joy it brought to Eric's life.
I think about Eric every time I got out for a run. I know he would have been proud of my time this past weekend :)