Some people go to medical school and become alarmists about every little symptom, real or imagined. Others become calmer, and tend to ignore symptoms until they can’t be ignored anymore. I went through both of these stages. As a medical student, it seemed like every new disease we talked about, I had. When we learned about DVTs, my lower legs hurt. Every mole looked like melanoma. Every headache was a brain tumor. Thankfully, I grew out of that.
I am now in a more relaxed, laid back state. I didn’t go to the doctor when my back hurt until it started sending shooting pains down my left arm. Luckily, I just had a pinched nerve. I made light of my son’s stomach ache until we ended up in the ER with a severely constipated child. Waiting, with these symptoms, wasn’t really harmful it just postponed the resolution. Will I know to react faster in more important situations?
When my Dad told his doctor about Eric, the doctor recommended that I get a scan to look for calcium in my heart. I have not done this.
A few nights ago I was out with a friend who is a pediatrician and she recommended having the kids evaluated by a pediatric cardiologist. This never even occurred to me. I asked the docs in Las Vegas if they thought what happened to Eric was hereditary and they said no and that was good enough for me.
Am I in denial? Am I too complacent? I don’t want to be the hyperactive, hypochondriac Mom who is constantly seeing doom in the shadows. But I also don’t want to leave my boys open to harm through inaction. And I should probably take care of myself as well. After all, if I don’t do it, who will?
There has to be a middle ground here. A way to protect us and not alarm us. I think its time for a heart to heart with my doctor and our pediatrician. When I get around to it.
Totally understand this idea, but probably less so because I am not a doctor. It seems you are not acting in denial as much as dealing with a series of things all in due time. Your emotional health is as important as your physical--and grief is a condition you are confronting without any bit of denial or delay.
ReplyDeleteIt's a fine line-- not wanting to worry about everything (and wanting to keep things as normal as possible)-- and wanting to do things in an attempt to keep your family (and yourself) safe. Most of us spend our entire lives figuring out how to navigate that path. Good luck as you figure out what's right for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI am still afraid to ask a doctor if my mom's particular brain cancer could be hereditary (and if you know the answer-- don't tell me!). It's an overwhelming question to even consider getting the answer to. So I certainly don't blame you for not rushing to get anyone's heart checked out. xoxo.
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