#19 Digression

My mother just called to tell me that the end may be near for my grandmother. I immediately thought I need to blog about this. Then I thought; this blog is about Eric, and grief and end of life; I don’t want to prematurely memorialize my grandmother. Then I thought; I really need to blog about this.

My mother’s mother is a feisty 92. She has been in the hospital for over a week with a multi-drug resistant pneumonia. I went to visit her last weekend and after putting on my gown, gloves and mask and walking into the room the first thing she said was, “I’ve had a terrible day, the service here is terrible!” My first thought? Does she know this is a hospital, not a hotel???

My grandmother grew up during the depression with 2 sisters. Her family was not well-to-do. She tells stories about the chair that had one broken arm. Whenever a sister brought home a date, a dateless sister had to sit in that chair so the date wouldn’t know it was broken. They also all shared one pin and the one with the date got to wear it.

To hear my grandmother tell it, she was pursued relentlessly by many men. When I look at pictures of her from that time, I believe it. She is beautiful and sophisticated.

She went to college and was president of her class for all 4 years, something very unusual for women at that time. She refused to go to her most recent college reunion because they put the year of your graduation on your name badge and she didn’t want anyone to know how old she was. She also wouldn’t let us throw her a 90th birthday party for the same reason.

When my grandfather proposed to her she took one look at the diamond ring and said, “It’s nice, but I have such big fingers….” She promptly got a bigger ring; one that she gave to me last year for my 10th wedding anniversary and that I wear proudly.

She was a teacher in the New York public school system and a mother to my mother and uncle.

She played golf well into her 80s and only 2 years ago stopped going to Florida for the winter.

She fell and broke her hip last summer, contracted and recovered from pneumonia and moved to an assisted living facility near my parents.

Whether or not she beats this pneumonia (and I desperately hope she does) her story deserves to be told. Eric wouldn’t mind the digression.