#11 Say Cheese!

I hate being photographed. There is always something in the picture I’m not happy with, my hair, my weight, my smile, my outfit….something.

I love having so many pictures of Eric. Especially the pictures of Eric with my kids. It’s making me rethink my policy on being photographed—but some things are hard to change.

I am usually the photographer for family events. Partly because I love photography, partly because then I don’t have to be in the pictures. But what if something happens to me and my kids don’t have the plethora of pictures they might want?

Now of course I do have some pictures of me with my kids, in fact in their room there are two framed pictures of me. There is one of me with each kid as a newborn. Of course, you’re not supposed to look good after giving birth, so I can give myself a pass on those. I still don’t like to look at them though, or at least at myself in them…I can’t get enough of looking at my babies.

Pictures are, of course, less for me than for those who will need to remember me someday. That doesn’t mean that it’s ok for them to remember me looking fat, or with my hair all frizzy or with food dripping out of my mouth….does it?

I have so many pictures of Eric and in all of them I think he looks good. It doesn’t matter if he was in the hot tub, in shorts in the back yard, or in a suit, he looks handsome and like my brother. I wonder if he would have liked all of them. He never seemed to have a problem having his picture taken, or displayed, and never understood when I did. He actually put pictures of me on Facebook in my pajamas before getting ready in the morning. My hair was not done, I was wearing no make-up. I made him take them down. He did it, but only because he didn’t want me to be upset, not because he cared how I looked.

I guess maybe I just need to get over this whole photograph thing and leave a record of myself for future generations.

As soon as I come up with a hairstyle I love and lose a few pounds.