Fathers and daughters, mothers and sons. That’s how family allegiances are supposed to go. I can attest to this from personal experience, I have at least one son who is glued to my leg at all times when I am home. Of course, when you get older, these alliances tend to switch. After the teen years it is actually possible for mothers and daughters to get along….most of the time….
My mother remembers vividly the first night at the dinner table when Eric turned to my father instead of to her to share his day and get some advice. It was a BIG shock. I’m still not sure she’s over it. I’m not sure I’ll get over it either when it happens to me.
Not being particularly athletic, interested in team sports, or handy around the house, Eric and my Dad couldn’t bond over these traditional male topics. Still, they found activities that both could enjoy and forge a relationship over. Things like cocktails. No, my brother couldn’t drink them (not at that age anyway) but he could make them and he enjoyed playing bartender. I can remember one of his first attempts when he filled a glass to the brim with scotch and gingerly carried it to my Dad, careful not to spill a single drop. Alarmed by the waste of scotch, my Dad make Eric take a sip. After laughing at the face Eric made, he informed him that was why you didn’t completely fill the glass. Eric later developed a preference for sweeter drinks.
Once, for fun, Eric filled all the ice cube trays with 7 Up. My Dad made two different drinks and then threw out the bottle of Chivas Regal before he found out what had happened. He hasn’t had it since. Eric might actually have liked that combination.
My Dad and Eric both share a great sense of humor. I can remember a family trip to Michigan when I was looking at colleges. Eric got so sick of hearing about me; he pulled my Dad aside for some “manly” talks. They talked about concrete, and backhoes. My Mom and I almost fell over on the sidewalk laughing at them.
As an adult my Mom was always a refuge for Eric, the person who understood him better than anyone else. But it was my Dad’s respect for which Eric strived. I know he knew he had it.
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