Do you ever feel like hiding from the world? I had a couple of days last week when that was all I wanted to do. Granted I was not feeling well, but it seemed extreme to me. I didn’t want to make the effort to leave the house. I didn’t want to talk on the phone. Even email was more of a demand than I felt I could handle. I’ve always had isolationist tendencies; in college I never wanted a single room, because I was afraid I wouldn’t leave it. I rely on my friends to pull me out of my cocoon. Once I get out, I always enjoy it, but I don’t always want to go in the first place.
Last week was extreme. I sent phone calls to voice mail, left my computer asleep and curled up on the couch with a book. When I had to function I could, I went to work, I picked up the kids, but otherwise, I couldn’t motivate to do anything. I didn’t even go get my nails done and those of you who know me know that’s a big deal!
Life has seemed more overwhelming since Eric left it. I have always needed time to recharge, time without kids or husband or errands, to just chill and re-center. I think that is a fairly normal need. Last week, I needed it to the extreme; I couldn’t seem to get enough.
That intense need for solitude has passed for now. I enjoyed a great weekend with my family and friends at the beach. I’m communicating by all my usual various forms. I’m planning on having my nails done at the earliest opportunity. I wonder how long this will last though. How long until once again life overwhelms and I need to forget it exists? I’m lucky my work schedule allows me time in which to partially collapse, but I don’t like that I need it.
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