#46 Memories

Lately when I try to think about growing up with Eric my memories appear more like a slide show than a coherent story.

I think about the time he hit me over the head with a snow shovel filled with fallen leaves; orange and yellow and red cascading down over me.

I think about him in his camouflage “army man” outfit that he wore for years.

I think about him in zip up, footie pajamas in the summer telling us he “transcends climate.”

I think about when we walked home from school and found the front foyer crawling with our annual termite infestation and Eric was too scared to come into the house. I had to get the vacuum cleaner and suck them up for him. It was the one time I’ve been less afraid of a bug than someone else.

I think about Eric throwing army men out his second story windows as he played war.

I think about when he came home and put his backpack on the bump on his bed, and the bump moved. The bump turned out to be a squirrel and we had to have a friend of the family come over to catch it because he and my Mom and I were way too scared.

I think about the clubhouse we made in his closet, how we drew all over the walls with marker and thought we were so cool.

I think about how he wore a stick-on eye patch for years and everyone in school knew my little brother was the one with the patch; even before he was in school.

I think about how he forgot his key one day and broke a window in the front door. He wouldn’t admit it and even though my parents knew it was him they called the police to make a point. He never did admit to it.

I think of him building with his cardboard bricks. He loved them so much we all thought he would be an architect. Much later, he bought them for my boys.

I think of him reading and doing his homework in the bathtub.

I think of him watching the Indiana Jones and Star Wars movies over and over and memorizing every word.

There are so many little memories that I’m afraid I’ll forget over time. There are so many I’m sure I’ve already lost. It used to be I could rely on Eric to help me remember. Now I have to get them all down before they’re gone for good.