#4

It would be ridiculous to think that I would ever, could ever forget Eric, but I find that I feel better when I have something from him with me. It doesn’t have to be anything particularly special; it just has to have a connection with him. I have a lot to choose from. Not only was Eric generous, I took a lot of things from his apartment. I probably took too many things, but I was worried I would leave something behind that I would later regret. I rationalized that I could always get rid of things later, but of course, I can’t. That’s why I now have a tent. And a Star Trek t-shirt. And a keychain.

Eric was never any good with dates. In the first post I talk about him celebrating my Aunt’s birthday 3 days late. I think the whole story was an elaborate (but clever!) ruse to cover up the fact that he forgot.

Once he called me in March panicked and breathless that we hadn’t sent my parents an anniversary gift. Their anniversary is May 29th.

One year for my birthday he called me three days early and pretended to be a recorded voice. This is what I heard.

“You are receiving this call because you have a birthday sometime in the next 5 days. Eric would like to wish you a happy birthday. This call will be repeated for the next 5 days.”

And it was.

When Eric moved to New Zealand after law school I wanted to give him a meaningful going away present. I decided it would get awfully expensive to have to call and remind him about every family birthday and anniversary. Instead I got him a keychain engraved with these important dates. He used it for years, until it broke.

When Eric was in the hospital, I visited his apartment in Las Vegas for the first time. In a little dish by his computer I found the broken keychain. I kept it in my pocket the entire time we were there. Once I got home, I brought it to a jeweler to make it into a pendant. Parting with it, even for that purpose, was really hard. I was barely able to keep the tears back until I left the store. I’m sure the lady thought I was crazy when I implored her, multiple times, not to lose the stainless steel keychain. Now I have it on a necklace. I don’t wear it everyday, but it is always on my nightstand next to my bed.

Everyday I wear very special rings on my left hand. They symbolize the love and commitment between me and my husband of almost 11 years. Now I wear a very special ring on my right hand as well. For my 30th birthday Eric bought me a beautiful silver ring from Tiffany’s. I used to wear it occasionally, now I wear it always.