As I mentioned in the last post, part of our bedtime ritual is reading to the boys before bed. Although now, my oldest reads to us. He has quickly become a really good reader, so much so that it’s easy to forget he doesn’t always understand the words he is able to pronounce.
Last night he picked out a Justice League comic book as his bedtime reading. We have been working our way through the “Magic Tree House” series, but apparently are missing the next book and he refuses to read them out of order. So he picked out the comic book. He had actually started it the night before when I missed bedtime in order to go to a talk at his school. This meant I started in the middle of the story with him where the world was on fire, the seas were boiling, a character used the expletive “Hell” and the narration was that the only noble thing left to for the Justice League superheroes to do was to die. Hmm, this doesn’t really seem appropriate for a 6 year old…. Luckily, he didn’t understand much of it at all. At first I tried to explain what was happening, and then I decided he was better off not knowing. It turns out the whole scenario was a dream to warn humanity not to let it get that far, but still, it was disturbing.
It made me wonder where we got the comic book in the first place. I know I didn’t pick it up. Then I realized, we got it from Eric. Both of my boys love Superman. Two years ago my oldest had a superman birthday party and this Saturday my youngest will have one. For that birthday Eric got my son what looked like a collector’s edition Superman action figure that came with this comic book. Of course, the action figure was soon ripped out of the box, destroying any collector’s value, but we didn’t care about that. I guess I just stuck the comic book on the bookshelf and forgot about it.
Now I have to figure out what to do with it since he is actually reading. I tried telling him last night that it wasn’t really appropriate for him and he was really upset, he really wanted to finish it. Normally, I wouldn’t advocate reading without comprehension, but in this case, I think that is going to be my solution. I’ll let him finish “reading” it, but won’t help him figure out what’s happening. Then, I’ll hide it away somewhere until he’s older and can actually get something out of it and he’ll know not to go saying “hell” everywhere.
Thanks Eric.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
#164 Prayer
As I’m sure most parents do, we have a bedtime ritual for putting the boys to bed. After they have brushed their teeth and gone to the bathroom and gotten into pajamas we gather in their room. Each boy gets a bedtime story, then hugs and kisses and tickles before they climb into bed. Once in bed we sing them a short song that my mother used to sing to me and then we start a cd for them to listen to as they fall asleep. Our boys share a room so all of this takes place together. Last night we had a slight change to our routine.
After we sang to them but before we put the cd on, my oldest asked if he could take a minute to pray to Uncle Eric. He told us that he started crying about Eric at school and one of his friends (remember, they are 6!) told him to pray to Uncle Eric to make him feel better. So last night he closed his eyes, put his hands together and prayed. He told Uncle Eric that he loved him and missed him and hoped that he would always watch over us. He told him that he really loved playing light sabers with him. Then my youngest said he loved Uncle Eric too. Did I cry? Yes, but I managed to hold it in until I left the room.
I was both touched and saddened and dismayed all at the same time. I love that my sons remember Uncle Eric and have the comfort that he is watching over them. I hate that my son who is yet to be born won’t have those experiences. I also was upset that my son was crying at school and I didn’t know. I probably would never have known had he not decided to pray last night and tell me about it. Why aren’t you calling me with this information teacher who thinks my sweet boy is a discipline problem????
I am also grateful to the little girl who had the presence of mind to suggest a solution that made my son feel better and gave him something he can continue to do to make himself feel better. If only that worked for me.
After we sang to them but before we put the cd on, my oldest asked if he could take a minute to pray to Uncle Eric. He told us that he started crying about Eric at school and one of his friends (remember, they are 6!) told him to pray to Uncle Eric to make him feel better. So last night he closed his eyes, put his hands together and prayed. He told Uncle Eric that he loved him and missed him and hoped that he would always watch over us. He told him that he really loved playing light sabers with him. Then my youngest said he loved Uncle Eric too. Did I cry? Yes, but I managed to hold it in until I left the room.
I was both touched and saddened and dismayed all at the same time. I love that my sons remember Uncle Eric and have the comfort that he is watching over them. I hate that my son who is yet to be born won’t have those experiences. I also was upset that my son was crying at school and I didn’t know. I probably would never have known had he not decided to pray last night and tell me about it. Why aren’t you calling me with this information teacher who thinks my sweet boy is a discipline problem????
I am also grateful to the little girl who had the presence of mind to suggest a solution that made my son feel better and gave him something he can continue to do to make himself feel better. If only that worked for me.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
#163 Terror
Yesterday’s post was about Las Vegas and it’s replicas of famous world tourist sites. I expressed my desire to see the originals, in their original locations and my non-desire to see the Vegas interpretations. Although I might be changing my mind….
There is now a very non-specific terror alert about travel to Europe. It basically just says be careful and possibly avoid public transportation. Hmm. I’m glad I don’t have any trips scheduled to Europe right now. If I did, would I cancel? Would I go anyway? How can you know what to do with such a vague warning?
As far as I know there is no such alert about travel to Las Vegas. And the sites there are much closer together. Instead of taking a train or plane between Venice and Paris, you can take a cab. I don’t know, maybe you can even walk! Sounding any better? No, not to me either.
On September 11, 2001 Eric was in Riyadh on business. In order to get there he had to lie about his religion on his visa application. He hadn’t converted to Christianity yet and was still officially Jewish. He didn’t mind lying; I minded that he had to.
Religion has caused so much strife and pain and death in this world, it’s amazing it still has so many adherents. And yet so many people find peace and hope and comfort in it.
I will feel better when we no longer have to worry about terror alerts or lying about who we are and where we come from for any reason.
There is now a very non-specific terror alert about travel to Europe. It basically just says be careful and possibly avoid public transportation. Hmm. I’m glad I don’t have any trips scheduled to Europe right now. If I did, would I cancel? Would I go anyway? How can you know what to do with such a vague warning?
As far as I know there is no such alert about travel to Las Vegas. And the sites there are much closer together. Instead of taking a train or plane between Venice and Paris, you can take a cab. I don’t know, maybe you can even walk! Sounding any better? No, not to me either.
On September 11, 2001 Eric was in Riyadh on business. In order to get there he had to lie about his religion on his visa application. He hadn’t converted to Christianity yet and was still officially Jewish. He didn’t mind lying; I minded that he had to.
Religion has caused so much strife and pain and death in this world, it’s amazing it still has so many adherents. And yet so many people find peace and hope and comfort in it.
I will feel better when we no longer have to worry about terror alerts or lying about who we are and where we come from for any reason.
Monday, October 4, 2010
#162 It's Vegas, baby!
I read an article in Sunday’s New York Times about the troubles Las Vegas is having. The recession has hit them hard and they are seeing no signs of recovery. Nevada and Las Vegas have an over 14% unemployment rate and fewer and fewer people seem willing to gamble away their hard earned money.
I have never been a gambler. It’s just not fun for me. If I’m going to give someone my money I’d rather get something in return, like a massage or a fine wine. I understand that some people get a thrill from it, my husband is one of them, but I have never really understood Las Vegas. If I want to see the Eiffel Tower, I want to see the real one, in Paris. Ditto for the pyramids and Venice. I never understood the allure of the city for Eric. But then again, I didn’t have to.
I wonder how Eric would be doing there now. Would he still be employed? Would he still be interested in learning about an industry that is sunk in the doldrums? He probably would be, he’d probably think he could single handedly turn it all around. And he might be right.
We’ll never know. And that makes me really sad.
I have never been a gambler. It’s just not fun for me. If I’m going to give someone my money I’d rather get something in return, like a massage or a fine wine. I understand that some people get a thrill from it, my husband is one of them, but I have never really understood Las Vegas. If I want to see the Eiffel Tower, I want to see the real one, in Paris. Ditto for the pyramids and Venice. I never understood the allure of the city for Eric. But then again, I didn’t have to.
I wonder how Eric would be doing there now. Would he still be employed? Would he still be interested in learning about an industry that is sunk in the doldrums? He probably would be, he’d probably think he could single handedly turn it all around. And he might be right.
We’ll never know. And that makes me really sad.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
#161 The Apprentice
I may be revealing a little bit more about myself in this blog than I originally intended. It seems my TV viewing habits are creeping in more and more. I have already written posts inspired by “Parenthood” and “Master Chef”; today I’ll add another TV inspired post. Today’s post is brought to you by “The Apprentice”. Ok, not really, if Donald Trump were actually sponsoring me I’m sure I’d have a much more lavish (or garish) web design. But I did watch the show last night and it made me think of Eric.
I like “The Apprentice” because Donald Trump calls it like it is. He doesn’t take any BS, he sees through people’s lame excuses and he makes people accountable. It’s easy to see why he’s successful. His show pits teams of hopeful future Trump employees against each other in different types of business challenges—marketing, running a business, sales, etc—and each week someone is fired until there is just one left. Eric belongs on this show.
I don’t know why it hit me more last night than any other time I’ve watched, but it did. The show I watched last night featured a battle between 2 male teammates, a very well educated, but inexperienced lawyer and an unemployed salesman who did very well until the economy tanked. The lawyer was very analytical and cold and without a sense of how things work in the real world. He blew off the business owner who was judging his task because he needed to get his plan completed. The salesman was brash and loud and over the top, but was willing to pitch in to get the task completed and had more common sense. He was very argumentative and easily alienated people who might have been his allies. I think Eric might have been a good combination of the two.
Eric was a very well educated lawyer. He also was a team player and always willing to pitch in and go above and beyond. He was incredibly good at impressing his co-workers and superiors and was able to make himself heard without being loud and obnoxious.
As a child Donald Trump was one of Eric’s idols. I always thought he would end up on Wall Street. Life takes us in different directions though and it turned out that’s not where Eric’s interests lay. I still think he would have made an awesome Apprentice though.
I like “The Apprentice” because Donald Trump calls it like it is. He doesn’t take any BS, he sees through people’s lame excuses and he makes people accountable. It’s easy to see why he’s successful. His show pits teams of hopeful future Trump employees against each other in different types of business challenges—marketing, running a business, sales, etc—and each week someone is fired until there is just one left. Eric belongs on this show.
I don’t know why it hit me more last night than any other time I’ve watched, but it did. The show I watched last night featured a battle between 2 male teammates, a very well educated, but inexperienced lawyer and an unemployed salesman who did very well until the economy tanked. The lawyer was very analytical and cold and without a sense of how things work in the real world. He blew off the business owner who was judging his task because he needed to get his plan completed. The salesman was brash and loud and over the top, but was willing to pitch in to get the task completed and had more common sense. He was very argumentative and easily alienated people who might have been his allies. I think Eric might have been a good combination of the two.
Eric was a very well educated lawyer. He also was a team player and always willing to pitch in and go above and beyond. He was incredibly good at impressing his co-workers and superiors and was able to make himself heard without being loud and obnoxious.
As a child Donald Trump was one of Eric’s idols. I always thought he would end up on Wall Street. Life takes us in different directions though and it turned out that’s not where Eric’s interests lay. I still think he would have made an awesome Apprentice though.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
#160 XO does not mean hugs and kisses
A couple of years ago for Chanukah we got out boys an XO laptop computer. This is an incredibly durable laptop made for use in third world countries. The goal of the company, One Laptop per Child, is to get computers in the hands of children who might not otherwise get them. If you buy one during the holiday season, they will donate one to a child in a developing country. At the time my oldest was 5 and my youngest was 2 and we thought they would have fun playing with it and develop some computer skills at the same time…at least the 5 year old would anyway.
We didn’t know that Eric had also bought one for himself. He liked how small and lightweight it was as well as liking the company’s mission. He used it as an e-book reader during flights.
We didn’t realize (at least I didn’t) that it would come with a wholly foreign operating system that 2 years later I still don’t know how to work.
That Thanksgiving Eric was busy showing his off and our oldest was clearly enthralled. I was relieved, thinking that between my husband and Eric we could make this thing work. We hadn’t given ours to the boys yet, so they didn’t know they were getting one, but I was glad they liked Eric’s.
Well, my oldest never really did get into that computer, but my youngest loves it. He’ll turn 4 in about a week and he calls it his “website”. He puts a lot of things on it, such as rocks he finds outside. Today he was busy putting “My Baby Can Read” on his website, a product they are fascinated with from the commercials.
My oldest prefers a laptop with Windows where he can go to his favorite actual websites and play the games he likes.
I dread when my youngest pulls out the XO because I still don’t know how to work it. Usually I can blunder my way to a screen that will allow him to type which keeps him happy, but this is harder than you might think.
Eric, I need your help. There is a “website” here that needs your expertise. And some nephews who need your own special brand of eccentric. And a sister who misses it all.
We didn’t know that Eric had also bought one for himself. He liked how small and lightweight it was as well as liking the company’s mission. He used it as an e-book reader during flights.
We didn’t realize (at least I didn’t) that it would come with a wholly foreign operating system that 2 years later I still don’t know how to work.
That Thanksgiving Eric was busy showing his off and our oldest was clearly enthralled. I was relieved, thinking that between my husband and Eric we could make this thing work. We hadn’t given ours to the boys yet, so they didn’t know they were getting one, but I was glad they liked Eric’s.
Well, my oldest never really did get into that computer, but my youngest loves it. He’ll turn 4 in about a week and he calls it his “website”. He puts a lot of things on it, such as rocks he finds outside. Today he was busy putting “My Baby Can Read” on his website, a product they are fascinated with from the commercials.
My oldest prefers a laptop with Windows where he can go to his favorite actual websites and play the games he likes.
I dread when my youngest pulls out the XO because I still don’t know how to work it. Usually I can blunder my way to a screen that will allow him to type which keeps him happy, but this is harder than you might think.
Eric, I need your help. There is a “website” here that needs your expertise. And some nephews who need your own special brand of eccentric. And a sister who misses it all.
Friday, October 1, 2010
#159 School Days
Eric was a terror in school. Actually he was a terror out of school as well when he was little, but this post is about school. He was always very bright, but not always the best behaved. At then end of every school year my mother would go to a specialty chocolate shop and buy his teacher a big chocolate aspirin with a note that said, “From your headache.”
A couple of nights ago I got a call from my 6 year old’s first grade teacher. Can you believe my pride and joy, my amazing firstborn, my brilliant, self proclaimed genius child is a discipline problem?? It is apparently so.
He talks too much. I have no idea where he gets that from (please insert sarcasm). He talks over the teacher and disrupts the class. She had to move him next to an empty desk to try and cut down on the talking. He also has trouble keeping his hands to himself when walking in the hallways and touches the walls, the bulletin boards and the other students. His teacher didn’t want to always be nagging him and become a negative influence on him, so I guess I have to. After all, that is kind of my job.
As you can imagine, I was mortified to get the phone call, but still glad that she called to tell me what was going on. Now I just have to figure out how to help him behave.
Mom? Any suggestions?
Other than the discipline issues, my son is doing well in school. Academically and socially we have no issues. I guess I’ll just console myself with the thought that even though Eric’s behavior was less than stellar in his grade school years he still made it to Harvard and beyond. Maybe his nephew will too.
After I finish beating him.
Just kidding! I guess I need to start looking for a specialty chocolate shop....
A couple of nights ago I got a call from my 6 year old’s first grade teacher. Can you believe my pride and joy, my amazing firstborn, my brilliant, self proclaimed genius child is a discipline problem?? It is apparently so.
He talks too much. I have no idea where he gets that from (please insert sarcasm). He talks over the teacher and disrupts the class. She had to move him next to an empty desk to try and cut down on the talking. He also has trouble keeping his hands to himself when walking in the hallways and touches the walls, the bulletin boards and the other students. His teacher didn’t want to always be nagging him and become a negative influence on him, so I guess I have to. After all, that is kind of my job.
As you can imagine, I was mortified to get the phone call, but still glad that she called to tell me what was going on. Now I just have to figure out how to help him behave.
Mom? Any suggestions?
Other than the discipline issues, my son is doing well in school. Academically and socially we have no issues. I guess I’ll just console myself with the thought that even though Eric’s behavior was less than stellar in his grade school years he still made it to Harvard and beyond. Maybe his nephew will too.
After I finish beating him.
Just kidding! I guess I need to start looking for a specialty chocolate shop....
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